This last month, the Internet has been particularly mind-boggling. Conservatives - apparently still suffering cognitive dissonance over the failure of the "permanent majority" - have been pulling some particularly bizarre statements out of their hats. Just for fun, I've compiled some of my favorites from the past month and mixed them with a few of my own. See if you can't spot the real right-wing theses. Answers and proof are below the fold.

1. The Renaissance caused World War II and the Bolshevik Revolution.

2. The fact that pregnancy is not caused by eating a cupcake proves that gay couples shouldn't raise children.

3. Too much soy will turn young boys into homosexuals and cause young girls to reach puberty early.

4. The paper money system is a liberal plot.

5. Merriam-Webster dictionaries have a definite liberal bent, and children who use them are more likely to vote Democratic as adults.

(With the Virginia Senate Seat now called for Jim Web (Hooray!), I believe the timing for this post is appropriate:)

Of all the pundits, both amateur and professional, there were very few who nailed the 2006 elections -- who had the cojones to take a stand and call it all without doubt, without apology or caveat.

So who were these political geniuses?

Well, before we go there, let's take a look at some of those who were WRONG (i.e. Every other pundit)

It's really been a great couple of days for us, what with the House and the Senate swinging back to us and Rumsfeld leaving. It's a great time for me, too - Boyda beat Ryun, Phill Kline got clobbered in his race, and some semblance of sanity has been restored to my state. It's a great time to be a Democrat.

And yet, I can't help but feel a little sad. Not about the election, which better than I thought it would in my wildest dreams. It's the discourse that has me down. I realized that there would be a few conservatives who would overreact, but this...

I don't normally like the Colbert Report. Stephen was better on the Daily Show, as far as I'm concerned. However, Tuesday night was brilliant. It was great because Colbert's over-the-top routine was spot-on. The next morning, the wingnuts were repeating the same lines, only they were serious.

If irony wasn't dead before, it is now. And how can I write humor without irony? How can I top what the wingnuts are saying?

But I won't let this keep me down. I am dedicated to the work, I am up to the challenge, and I will not rest until satire is alive and well again. Behold, as I top every 'nut on the 'Net:

Back from the void of laziness...

I'm always torn when I write metaposts about blogging. There are two radical positions one can take regarding the dreaded Blogosphere, both of which irk me. At one extreme, you have the right-wing triumphalists who take credit for everything and exaggerate their own accomplishments to ridiculous levels. At the other, you have today's subject.

Meet Bruce Kluger - USA Today contributor, writer for Parents magazine, and trasher of blogs. You probably saw the link to his article on Eschaton recently, but Atrios (as he is wont to do) didn't bother to give it the thrashing it so deserves. (And yes, I realize how ironic it is that I'm now criticizing Atrios for being lazy) Below, you'll find a proper dissection of this truly deranged article, with added snark. Enjoy.

One of the words used to describe the September 11th hijackers in the hours and days after those horrific acts of terror was the word coward. U.S. leaders and news channel pundits called the hijackers cowards. TV talk show host Bill Maher, quipped that guys flying planes into the World Trade Center and Pentagon were anything but cowards. Going a bit too far, perhaps, he said "We have been the cowards lobbing cruise missiles from 2,000 miles away. That's cowardly. Staying in the airplane when it hits the building, say what you want about it, it's not cowardly."

Since Maher was soon fired from that job, I think people have been a bit more cautious throwing the coward word around. I think the time for such caution has come to an end. It is time speak out against the real cowards.

With less than a year until the 2006 election, it's time for another look into the cracked crystal ball. In advance, I know Atrios has done this already, but I think I can do better. Hubris, perhaps, but we'll see.

Below are my predictions regarding the actions of the Bush Administration, the Punditocracy, and the right-wing media establishment, particularly as they relate to Iran. Enjoy.

bzbb at My Left Nutmeg wrote up an interesting diary on Cindy Sheehan's visit to Uconn the other day. Given that it is crunch time for students across the nation I thought that I would give bzbb a little cover before coming back with a promissed diary on Anne Coulter's visit to Uconn. (Good luck in your exams, and essay efforts!)

Needless to say, Coulter wasted very little time going from zero to idiot:

STORRS, Connecticut (AP) -- Conservative columnist Ann Coulter cut short a speech at the University of Connecticut amid boos and jeers, and decided to hold a question-and-answer session instead.

"I love to engage in repartee with people who are stupider than I am," Coulter told the crowd of 2,600 Wednesday.

Before cutting off her speech after about 15 minutes, Coulter called Bill Clinton an "executive buffoon" who won the presidency only because Ross Perot took 19 percent of the vote.

Yep! Right into her GOP talking points without a moment to spare.

I said "Darling, you sound like a prostitute pursing"

Click on to feel the love down below...

Wow. News Flash: Ann Coulter's an asshole.

Didn't she jump the shark a long time ago?

Must be a slow news day.

Here's the link to mediabistro, since I refuse to link to Drudge.

Too bad.  

I'd like to preface this post by wishing everyone a Merry Fitzmas (and a Happy Fitznukah to our Jewish readers). I'm sure you've already heard about Scooter, so I'll spare you another reiteration of the details. As the indictments drag on, I'll be sure to keep you updated on the spin situation - that is, how the righties plan on excusing a series of crimes that are far more serious than the counts that got Clinton impeached. (Early reporting shows that the strategy may be the "Deny Everything" tactic. "Who is this Bill Clinton of whom you speak?")

Now, on to the actual post.

This week, we hit a landmark in Iraq - the 2000th U.S. fatality. Obviously, this was a sad occasion that was ruthlessly spun by people with more bile than remorse. Now, I know that you all watch the Daily Show, which means you've probably been watching the Colbert Report as well. (You have, right? Good. There will be a test later.) Because of this, I'm sure that most of you have also seen the egregious display that the pundits at Fox & Friends put on that day. Usual drill - 2000 deaths isn't that much, Vietnam blah blah blah not all of them were actually blown up, and etc. It's a heartless argument, to be sure, but will it work? Good question.