One of the more perplexing and deceptive aspects of being bi-polar is the "manic" part of what used to be (and, in my not so f**king humble opinion, still should be) called "manic-depression."

In other words, a manic-depressive is often unaware that she is experiencing a relapse in her "condition"...

(disease? Do I really have to call it a disease? Or even a "disorder?" Don't I have ENOUGH diseases and disorders, what with the alcoholism and fibromyalgia and obsessive-compulsive disorder and body-dysmorphic disorder... attention-deficit disorder and... and... Fuuuuck.)

... until the "manic" phase ends and she begins an often precipitous drop into the depressive phase.

What I'm trying to say, here, is that until this morning, I didn't realise that the new medication to which my new doctor had me switch is not only not working, it is exacerbating my condition.

How, you may ask, did I "suddenly" become aware of the fact that I am in full-on depression mode, coming off a manic streak?

I looked in the mirror.

Not clear enough for you? I bet there are a few Medical Doctors and Manic Depressives out there who know exactly what I saw when I looked in the mirror this morning: