"Of Savage Imperialism, Pigskin Monopolists, and Intellectual Emasculation"

By Jason Miller

"Two things only the people anxiously desire -- bread and circuses."

--Juvenal

Searching for masculine bliss incarnate?

Look no further than NFL football and its myriad machismo delights....

Fierce armor-clad gladiators applying wicked hits, battering each other relentlessly, engaging in bone-jarring collisions, and performing feats of near super-human athleticism....

Provocatively undressed cheerleaders manifesting our culture's ideal of feminine perfection.....

Rivers of ice cold beer gushing forth to satiate our desire to numb the mind and lower inhibitions....

And lest we forget, the NFL provides us with "Man Law" to shield us from our long repressed anima, which is constantly poised to assail our grossly exaggerated masculinity ....