Have you ever gotten a piece of mail addressed to "occupant" or "resident," that included an "important offer" or "time sensitive information" and contained the greeting "Dear Valued Customer?" Yes, I know, me too. Every time I open the mail I'm assaulted by some cheap "special offering" or "exciting opportunity" from some boiler room asshole who thinks that I'm so stupid that I don't see through his sleazy crap.

I may not be the sharpest knife in the drawer, but if you want to stay on my good side try not to let me know that you're aware of that fact. If you want to do business with me please don't insult the limited intelligence I have left over from the 60's, and in the future address your communications to me like this: