I will seize the opportunity to achieve big goals."~~George W. Bush

My friend Bernie says a lot of folks have George Bush figured all wrong. "Sure he lies," Bernie said, "every time he opens his mouth. But -- think about it. Even when Bush is lying he ends up telling us what he's gonna do. He can't help himself -- he just blurts it out. But by the time we understand what he's saying -- he's already made a stinkin' mess and moved on to the next one."

Bernie says he's sick and tired of Bush running crazily through Americans' lives, shouting at the top of his lungs -- "September the 11th! The terrorists are coming!" while bragging insanely about his carnivorous game plan for the entire universe. "What's the matter with the people in this country?" Bernie asked in frustration, "why can't they figure out this bozo?"