Believe it or not, Sec Spellings is already claiming that No Child Left Behind deserves credit for the modest increase in writing scores nation-wide. From a press release from the US Dept of Education.

"U.S. Secretary of Education Margaret Spellings today highlighted the results of The Nation's Report Card^TM: Writing 2007. Secretary Spellings commended educators and students for the significant progress made under No Child Left Behind."

This can't be true.

With the end of the Bush administration's term of office in sight, members of the administration have been surprisingly successful in lining up employment in the entertainment industry, with two key members accepting roles in the final Harry Potter film, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. Vice President Dick Cheney has agreed to take on the role of archvillan Lord Valdemort, and Education Secretary Margaret Spellings will play the part of Dolores Umbridge. "They are naturals for the roles, explained a spokesperson for the production company. "They won't require any special makeup, because they already look like the characters they play, and they are a director's dream come true. All they have to do is `act naturally.'"

In other news, author JK Rowling has announced that if she writes another Harry Potter book, Defense Against the Dark Arts will be renamed Defense Against Karl Rove.

(Blatent attempt to copy the magnificent style of Andy Borowitz (borowitzreport.com)