As if the ex-gay therapy movement was not controversial enough, Gerald Schoenewolf a member of the Science Advisory Board of the National Association for Research & Therapy of Homosexuality (NARTH) widened the controversy last fall when he claimed in a NARTH-published essay, among other things, that Africans kidnapped and sold into slavery in America had been "better off."  The matter caused two other science advisors to resign in protest. And while NARTH has distanced itself from Schoenewolf's views, he remains a NARTH science advisor.  Meanwhile, the silence of organizations on the religious right that promote Christian ex-gay therapies, such as Focus on the Family, has been deafening.

I'm at that age where I'm steadily losing members of my family.  It's not a surprise; in fact, it's something of a miracle that I've made it this far without being stripped of those people who stand between me and the shadowy boundaries of life.  Still, it's a shock to realize that we'll never again be gathered around that big table at Christmas or the fourth.  There won't be any more of my grandmother's coconut cake, bottle rockets in the back yard, or vast family games for which only some great aunt knows the rules.  Even the house where we all gathered is sold, and will be a part of some other family's memories.
The only stories that remain are now mine to tell.  

While those loses of family are both sad and expected, I'd like to talk about another loss that came this year.  Someone who was not part of my family.  Someone who had only barely shaded from the role of colleague to friend in the last months that we worked together.  Someone whose courage and grace were, and continue to be, a lesson I hope never to forget.