THE TERRORISTS ARE HERE: GET THE DUCT TAPE! 
Six terrorists caught!!! Holy Moses, they're coming to get us. They're going after our troops . . . HERE, on our own soil! These guys were pure evil . . . and "Catastrophe in New Jersey" surely would have devastated life in America as we know it!
The mastermind, a pizza delivery boy, "Clearly, one of the guys had an intimate knowledge of the base from having been there delivering pizzas," U.S. Attorney Christopher Christie said.
This man and his cohort's vast knowledge of the 11.3 square mile maximum-security military base was just one of the key ingredients in their planned Catastrophe in New Jersey (or operation CINJ -- pronounced Singe).
Wait... There's more! (449 words in story)
Wanted: A Twenty First Century George Kennan
In July 1947, George F. Kennan published an article in the quarterly edition of Foreign Affairs entitled "Sources of Soviet Conduct." Kennan originally drafted the article as a paper for Defense Secretary James Forrestal. When he submitted it to Foreign Affairs, Kennan used the moniker "M