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1. A gaggle of kitchen gadgets and tools (19 to be exact) to keep your kitchen in cheerful and upbeat spirits as you embark on your quest for home chef domination.
2. Slightly diabolic bottle openers you shouldn't get too close to — I hear they have very sharp teeth that like to snack on human fingers.
3. A avo-wonderful cutting board with enough healthy fats to keep you full till the next meal (aka second lunch).
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $35.
4. Silicone trivets that'll blossom right before your eyes — who knew your kitchen would be the birthplace of delicious meals *and* kitchen accessories?
Promising review: "I bought two of these to use on our outdoor table, but like them so much they are used all the time indoors too. It looks great and are a bit bigger than my other trivets, so they provide more coverage. I especially like the fact that, when I unhook them, I can pull them out horizontally to use under a larger item like a cookie sheet. I also find them much easier to store: if you 'unlock' it, you can store it upright and it only takes up the same cabinet space as a small glass does. It takes a bit of patience to lock two together for a double flower pattern, but by combining colors you create a very colorful item to have on your table!" —S. Sappington
Get it from Amazon for $8.71+ (available in six colors) or Jet for $12.73 (available in green).
5. A hyped hand sign ice cube tray to keep your drinks more ~rock n' roll~ and less ~country road~.
V = victory = made a perfect jam.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $6.
6. A minty fresh electric matcha whisk for your very own freshly-brewed matcha lattes to rival your local cafe's — or you can froth up milk, blend dressings, and more!
7. Tiny snails that'll be mightier than they seem — thanks to them, you'll never have to dip your fingers into your cup to retrieve your fallen tea bags.
Promising review: "These are the most adorable things I have ever seen. I was so sick and tired of my tea bags falling into my water every minute, since I work in a warehouse with constant machines and fans blowing drafts. These snails are perfect and I get tons of compliments on them from everyone. I might even buy more as gifts for friends and family." —Heather
Get a set of 10 from Amazon for $4.99 or a set of five from Walmart for $7.80.
8. A sunny, flippable omelette maker for pockets of protein-infused sunshine every morning.
Promising review: "I eat eggs everyday and I am always looking for egg-cooking gadgets to save time or make them taste better. I've only used it a couple times but each time the eggs come out better than before. I've learned to not overfill it and use a timer, since I get sidetracked easy. Looking forward to experimenting." —Eric M. Schloegel Jr.
Get it from Amazon for $26.85+ (available in red or yellow) or Urban Outfitters for $40 (only available in yellow).
9. Or if you prefer your eggs whole (hard boiled or soft boiled, perhaps), a cute and space-saving egg cooker guaranteed to hatch an award-winning breakfast — besides the six-egg tray, it also comes with a poaching tray, measuring cup, and omelette tray! The possibilities are endless!
Promising review: "Oh my god, how did I ever live without this thing?! It's such a time saver and seriously cute to boot! The product itself is tiny, about half the size of my rice cooker, and takes up no counter space at all. Using the product couldn't be easier: just pierce the eggs, put in the right amount of water (I generally put in just a little more than the line for hard boiled, since my first batch came out a little less hard than I'd have liked), push the button, and walk away. The only thing is the buzzer does not stop buzzing, so you need to physically turn it off, lest you and the neighbors be subjected to the drone of its alarm. BUT besides that, it does its job wonderfully! My eggs have all come out cooked just to my liking." —Michelle Salemka
Get it from Amazon for $19.85+ (available in four colors) or Walmart for $24.95 (available in three colors).
10. An 11-piece cookware set as blue as they come — plus, it's dishwasher-safe and has nonstick diamond reinforced coating, dual riveted handles that'll always stay cool, and heavy gauge forged aluminum to guarantee ~optimum~ heat distribution. #levelup
11. A dishwasher-safe flat colander that'll fit perfectly at the bottom or edges of your sink to wash and prep food and catch peelings or worktop waste — no more scraping dirty peels by hand!
One reviewer claims to use theirs to give their cat a bath in the sink rather than the shower, which puts way less strain on their back. So, there's that if you wanna try out some more ~experimental~ uses.
Promising review: "Brilliant design. Great for washing berries or green beans, and also great for catching the snippings too. It's so nice to be able to peel onions, trim radishes, and other vegetables without having to scoop the peels up by hand. Just peel/snip into the sink and dump all the debris just once." —Kathyrn T.
Get it from Amazon for $12.49+ (available in three colors).
12. A three-in-one breakfast station for the multitasking expert you are meant to be — all the more time to stare out the window and write the next great American novel!
It includes a toaster oven, four-cup coffeemaker, and nonstick griddle for one hearty-ass meal. Yummm.
Promising review: "This is such a great little cooking appliance to add into your dorm room. I have used all three functions almost every day ever since I got it. It makes a cup of coffee (you actually have to fill the water up to two cups) within a minute and cooks an egg in about 7 to 10 minutes. The oven works great too. I have tried cooking bagels and frozen waffles in it, and they both turned out golden and crisp." —Amazon Customer
Get it from Jet for $35.99 or Amazon for $36.31+ (available in four colors).
13. A bright dishwasher rack that might just make your no-dishwasher existence a lot less miserable — it's a hard thing to accomplish, but someone's gotta try.
Promising review (for the second one): "This is very roomy — you can pile it high with all your dishes, pots, glasses, etc. The first one lasted five years before becoming rusty. I bought another, as none compare!" —Patricia Senger
Get the first one from Walmart for $23.58 and the second one from Amazon for $49.99.
14. Precious unicorn measuring cups to sort out 1/4 cup, 1/2 cup, 1/3 cup, and 1 cup portions during your baking endeavors — plus, their cute lil' horns double as a perfect no-mess spout for easy liquid transfer.
Get it from ModCloth for $15.
And because I know you're already obsessed with this character, you can also get Elodie the Unicorn as a ramen bowl and teapot/tea cup set on Amazon.
15. A customizable or preset cookie stamp so you can always put in your two cents ("love you," "fuck you," "eat me," etc.) when it comes to the food you make.
Promising review: "I was thrilled at how easy it is to change the pieces to create different messages, and how easy the product was to clean." —Rahlkie
Get the customizable stamp from Amazon for $13.41 or from Uncommon Goods for $15 or one of the preset stamps from Amazon for $4.60+ (available in four sayings).
16. Chatty latex gloves that double as puppeteer practice while scrubbing your days-old bowls clean — and during breaks, they always ~dish out~ the juiciest gossip.
Promising review: "We lack a dishwasher in our current house and the dishes fall on my husband, since I prep and cook constantly. So these made a hilarious gag gift for him at Christmas! He may have gotten a lil' pissy, but it was worth it because I saw him using them the next day, haha! It has become an ongoing joke between us, and he loves to talk smack via his glove puppet. And even though we're moving and will have a dishwasher, these are still coming with us!" —Danielle
17. Casserole carriers to bring all of your greatest hits to your friends' dinner parties time and time again — and to endless buckets of praise, of course.
Get a set of two from Food52 for $40 (available in three colors).
18. Wispy oven mitts, which tend to face life with the "fight fire with fire" attitude — it might not be the healthiest outlook, but hey, it works really well in this case!
Up to temps of 300°C and 572°F, at least.
Get them from Animi Causa for $23.99.
19. A book sure to inspire you to admire the everyday foods that surround your kitchen (and stomach) — hello, gorgeous, artful arrangements!
From the creator of the #foodgradients Instagram tag!
Promising review: "Stunning photos of things we see every day, but arranged to create beautiful works of art. The photographer has a keen sense of color and design. The captions show a great sense of humor — only wish they were in a larger font!" —CyberCommando
20. A fiery red homemade tortilla kit to take Taco Tuesday to the next damn level — yes, the chile habanero sauce pictured is included.
Even beginners can manage mixing masa corn flour (must be bought separately) and water, making a golf-ball-sized ball of dough, putting it in the press, closing it, and letting the weight of the cast iron do the work. Peel it off and then wrap hot tortillas in the warming towel. Done! Easy!
Promising review: "I was given one of these recently and it was a HIT! Our family has always enjoyed taco night, but homemade tortillas take it to another level. Super easy and fun to make, and they turn out delicious. The instructions and recipes included in the kit are easy to follow. The fish tacos were the best!!" —Sarah
Get it from Amazon for $44.99 or Uncommon Goods for $48. And buy masa corn flour from Walmart (4.4 lb bag) for $2.78.
21. A ~cheery~ and petite stovetop coffee maker for your morning caffeine fix in a flash — and yes, it doesn't judge if that sometimes means downing three cups of espresso in a row.
Promising review: "Maybe it's a silly American thing, but I feel like I'm a European housewife when I make coffee in this pot. It makes the best espresso I've ever had. I bought it knowing that I can replicate espressos from coffeeshops at home without having to spend $200 on a cumbersome espresso machine. It is very easy to use. It comes apart easily for filling and cleaning and there are only a few pieces, so it's not complicated to put back together. The directions are pretty simple as well. It's handy, easy to use, looks great on my stove, and cost me about $15. Totally worth it." —Sarah Miller
Get it from Amazon or Jet for $14.90 (makes six cups of espresso).
22. A set of rainbow knives, unmatched in their abilities to cut through foods like butter and spellbind users.
Promising review: "Best set of knives I’ve ever owned. They have never dulled on me. I haven’t sharpened them in four and a half years. I’m definitely labeled a chef and these knives are the only ones I use. I have three sets of these knives in case something was to happen to the set I have. If you wash them and let them sit without drying yes, you will get rust on them. Who would let a good knife sit with water on them or leave them in a wet sink? That would be someone who doesn’t like to do dishes. Any cook or chef will clean and dry their knives when finished with them. There’s no complaints for these knives. They are well worth the money and cut like butter." —Toni
Get a set of five knives and five blade guards from Amazon for $27.29 or Walmart for $31.99.
23. A poppin' popcorn popper for many, many cozy movie nights in — Shape of Water, anyone? Maybe with a side of Swedish Fish.
Promising review: "We love popcorn, and this makes popcorn more fun, healthy, and enjoyable. So fresh and tasty without any mess. Popcorn pops in the same amount of time it would take to microwave a bag, but you never have to worry about burning it. The best part: it's so compact that it takes up very little counter space, so you can leave it out and always be ready to make a healthy snack." —PunkPacoKeith
Get it from Amazon for $29.99 or a similar one from Jet for $39.95 (both available in three colors).
24. A mini ceramic honey pot (and bumbly wooden dipper) if you just need an occasional drop or two to accompany your tea or peanut butter sandwich, or just to eat by itself.
Promising review: "I have started eating a tablespoon of honey each day to build up my resistant to pollens. My husband has been eating raw wildflower honey for a couple of years and has experienced a significant decrease in sinus problems — that is enough to convince me to eat honey as well. I bought this honey pot to keep out next to my teapot. It is petite in size, but I didn't want a large container taking up countertop space. It easily fits on a bed or TV tray and doesn't take up any more space than a small mug." —Pur
25. Stunning Henri Matisse-inspired dessert plates, which belong in an art museum with a dazzling spotlight shining upon them 24/7 — please hold for their agent before speaking any further.
Promising review: "These plates add a beautiful pop of color and touch of class to my dining room. My five-year-old daughter keeps trying to steal the kitchen towel and take it to her room because she loves the lady's face. The quality of the plates is good; they are sturdy, the art is crisp, and the colors are saturated." —Emsuedavis
Get them from Anthropologie for $14 each (available in three designs). And get the matching dish towel for $16.
26. A four-piece silicone spatula/spoon set that'll love spending their days dipping in boiling pots of water and greasy pans — they're heat-resistant up to 400 degrees after all.
Get it from the Tasty collection at Walmart for $17.76.
27. A hoppy bag opener whose special talents include slicing satisfying clean lines and sticking to fridges in its downtime.
Get it from Animi Causa for $10.99 (available in two colors).
28. Pastel non-stick silicone ramekins that'll work just as great inside the oven for scrumptious batches of souffles, creme brulees, and dips (but the list goes on) as they do out — i.e. heat up baby food in boiling water!
29. A nifty spaghetti measurer with portions for kids, adults, and "I could eat a horse" portions for especially hangry times.
30. Vibrant colorblocked towels to help you clean up all of the inevitable spells and mishaps you'll encounter.
Get a five-pack from Overstock for $12.49.
31. A speckled ceramic soup mug that'll look a hell of a lot classier sitting in the ole office fridge than a Campbell's Soup on the Go — and it's microwave, dishwasher, and oven safe up to 375 degrees!
32. A handy stainless steel and glass canister set to save your pantry with disarray — hello, airtight seals to help essentials like sugar, flour, coffee, and cereals stay fresh and dry!
Get a four-piece set from Overstock for $24.99.
33. A psychedelic cocktail set that'll harnesses the knowledge of mixologists all across the world and other miscellaneous elements unbeknownst to man to create cocktails that are truly 🌟 out of this world 🌟.
The set comes with a shaker, strainer, double-ended mixing spoon and muddler, and double-sided jigger for 0.5 oz and 1 oz pours.
Get it from Urban Outfitters for $27 or a similar one from Amazon for $35.95. Shop the matching stemless wine glass for $8 and the stemmed wine glass at Urban Outfitters for $20.
34. Celestial coasters a mastermind probably crafted by harvesting crystals from deep within the earth, cracking them open, and engraving them within these delicate squares — it's a given that you'll want a set for every room in the house.
Promising review: "These coasters are not only beautiful and distinctive but are also well crafted, with substantial weight and four felt feet." —lxm007
Get a set of four from Anthropologie for $40 (available in seven designs).
35. A classy quartet of floral mugs neatly stacked within a gold wire stand to make staying organized look sexy.
Get them from Pier 1 Imports for $19.95.
If you want straight-up rainbow colors, here's a cute espresso cups and saucers set also from Pier 1 Imports.
36. Or a casually adorable Kiki's Delivery Service themed pitcher set that'll perfectly house four 4" diameter cups for your kawaii drinking pleasure.
Get it from BoxLunch for $16.72.
Jiji's so excited! You have to buy all the things!
Check out the entire collection of Tasty kitchenware at Walmart here!
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The reviews used in this post have been edited for length and clarity.