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gildings in this subreddit have paid for 13.55 years of server time

When someone says “I am just being realistic”, they are actually rationalizing their pessimism not realism. by themanthemythhs in Showerthoughts

[–]themanthemythhs[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Totally get this...this has been something said to me all the time “just being realistic” and 99 percent of the time it’s because that person has a pessimistic outlook. Even catch myself doing it.

You can't cyberbully the Amish by OfficialDampSquid in Showerthoughts

[–]MerryMortician 219 points220 points  (0 children)

I used to have a morning show on the radio and one day started telling Amish jokes. Nothing even mean just silly jokes etc.

The phone rang, it was a guy telling me that his Amish neighbor was riding in the car with him and they were listening to my show and he was offended. I apologized on the air and then later went on to boast that I had the largest Amish audience in radio.

You can't cyberbully the Amish by OfficialDampSquid in Showerthoughts

[–]VenomJacket 3411 points3412 points  (0 children)

I love their content, every day i go and take a look to the hot posts, they are great

If porn bloopers existed, they'd be much closer to real sex that actual porn. by Mirrinbelde in Showerthoughts

[–]TooShiftyForYou 6382 points6383 points  (0 children)

Porn bloopers could accurately be descried as a gag reel.

Attractive people telling unattractive people that looks don't matter is the same as rich people telling poor people that money doesn't matter by justcallmedudedude in Showerthoughts

[–]flashmeterred 1862 points1863 points  (0 children)

humongous dicks don't matter, guys

If our military reveals something they've been working on, they probably have something better than that. by coles2345 in Showerthoughts

[–]greeneyeded 56 points57 points  (0 children)

That’s classified.

The sense of hearing is wild. We can detect the air pressure changes caused by a paperclip hitting the floor from across the room. by KindaOffKey in Showerthoughts

[–]UppercaseVII 97 points98 points  (0 children)

https://techthelead.com/was-monet-able-to-see-uv-light-his-paintings-seem-to-suggest-it/

Everyone blames storm troopers for having bad aim but no one ever suggests that maybe the Empire cheaped out when buying the blasters by bhaggith in Showerthoughts

[–]randomaccount178 37 points38 points  (0 children)

A lot of the bad accuracy is showcased in the first movie. In the first movie They tractor in the ship and Darth Vader instantly knows Obi-Wan is onboard, yet they take no special precaution with the prisoner he knows Obi-Wan is likely to want to rescue. In fact, the prisoner rescue is mainly left to go off without a hitch, and Vader only really goes to kill Obi-Wan. This is because Vader was having a tracking device planted in the ship and knows Obi-Wan being one with the force would notice something is wrong. Also, keep in mind that they don't actually want to kill Princess Leia or to an extent the others. It doesn't really matter if they escape or not, so there is no need to kill them to prevent it, but rather they want to either capture everyone alive to interrogate them, or for them to escape safely so the tracker can do its work. Vader gains nothing by having them killed and knew in advance that they were mounting a rescue. It is very reasonable that he ordered his troops to capture any rescuers alive and forbade them from aiming to kill, which it makes it very hard to stop someone with a laser gun

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Darth Vader lost all four limbs and still went on to rule the galaxy making him film's most successful disabled person. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted by bhaggith

Graduating High School is treated both as a monumental accomplishment and as a bare minimum accepted level of education. by zook388 in Showerthoughts

[–]Ranborne_thePelaquin 154 points155 points  (0 children)

Mixed emotions when grandma dies...

Edit: Gilded? for this?! well, RIP grandma, at least you did me this one solid,.

If you hate wearing a mask, you're really not going to like the ventilator by TheCelticOne in Showerthoughts

[–]BreakfastBeerz 617 points618 points  (0 children)

The mask doesn't protect you. It protects others.

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Any sentence can sound like one word if you speak fast enough (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted by Red2005dragon

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In movies, there are two kinds of vents. Human sized vents and vents that are big enough only for the smallest, least experienced member of the group. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted by kozycat3092

The Fast and The Furious movies could probably be 30 minutes shorter, each, if they drove automatic transmission cars. by That_GareBear in Showerthoughts

[–]ASpaceOstrich 130 points131 points  (0 children)

I lie sometimes and say I prefer manual for all kinds of reasons. But the truth is, changing gears manually makes me feel like Vin Diesel.

If Adam Sandler’s movie “Click” didn’t have the happy end scene where he wakes up, it could’ve been a 2 hour black mirror episode. by longsleevedsloth in Showerthoughts

[–]Harald12 122 points123 points  (0 children)

i never really thought it was possible to be repulsed by a movie and then cry leaving the theater until i saw click

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Rule 8: Politics, Religion, or Social JusticTelling a male to “man up” is the equivalent to telling a woman to “stay in the kitchen." (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted by Djennuz2535& 10 more

Telling a male to “man up” is the equivalent to telling a woman to “stay in the kitchen." by Djennuz2 in Showerthoughts

[–]Randomtech88 9294 points9295 points  (0 children)

“Quit being gay and take it up the ass like a man”

dog licked a babies head by jordancambridge in Showerthoughts

[–]jordancambridge[S] 1796 points1797 points  (0 children)

I remembered it in the shower

One hundred nuclear reactor accidents in 60 years have turned people against nuclear power, but thousands of oil spills in a single year is totally fine. by Wajirock in Showerthoughts

[–]TheSomberBison 269 points270 points  (0 children)

My thing about nuclear power is that we're not building new reactors that are much safer and more efficient, and we're not building green energy either.

Both the left and right seem committed to hobbling the other side, but we just end up relying on these 1960s reactors that were designed to be decommissioned twenty years ago.

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Shrek says “hold the phone” even though telecommunication does not seem apparent within the Shrek universe. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted by MoJo59er

Video games are addicting because you can actually make positive change in an entire world and it all makes sense, unlike the real world by DirePupper in Showerthoughts

[–]koreiryuu 2 points3 points  (0 children)

you're very kind

Video games are addicting because you can actually make positive change in an entire world and it all makes sense, unlike the real world by DirePupper in Showerthoughts

[–]Setari 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Hope you're okay buddy.

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If earholes were big enough people would propably try to stuck there dick in them. (self.Showerthoughts)

submitted by meshari223

The Simpson's have been known to "predict" the future but in Futurama, a show that literally takes place in the future, no one has found anything that has come to fruition by Zaireelegray in Showerthoughts

[–]pobody 33 points34 points  (0 children)

Yes it has. We're basically being led by Richard Nixon's head.

99.9% is so overused in marketing that we'd most likely trust a company that uses 90% instead. by doubleoh72 in Showerthoughts

[–]Ahdilable 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Very interesting

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