My husband was 28 when we met and a virgin. When we started having sex, he opened up about being “different.” He wanted to wear panties and wanted me to make fun of his tiny penis. Didn’t love the stuff, but whatever. Now it’s a thousand times worse. He goes to Victoria’s Secret and tells the salesgirls he is being punished by his wife for wearing her panties and that I am “forcing him” to go buy some of his own. He told me he could see our neighbor undressing, so he tried to contact her to see if she wanted to humiliate him while he was dressed as a woman. And he recently “confessed” to a female coworker that he had a deep, dark secret he wanted to tell her. I confronted him, and he said he was going to tell her about me “forcing him” to wear panties and ask if she wanted to see his tiny penis!

He sees nothing wrong with this behavior. I feel like he is a fucking asshole and a pervert who is violating me, our marriage, and other women. I have children with this dude! What the hell do I do?!?

To my excitement, my boyfriend came to me and said he’s feeling ready to get married. We have decided we both want the wedding to be a small one, with a dinner party vibe. However, when it comes to the guest list, that’s where we have a big dispute.

See, my boyfriend has said that having my parents at the wedding would be a dealbreaker for him. He says he enjoys spending time with my parents when we go out to dinner with them, but long periods of time (during the holidays) feel like torture to him — not because of anything about my parents (they love him and already treat him like family), but because he says he feels like he has to constantly be on his guard regarding what he says around them.

It’s kind of hard to explain, but my family was very “Leave It to Beaver” (without the insidious misogyny), while my boyfriend’s family was more “Shameless.” … I understand how uncomfortable it is to have to censor yourself, and I also understand that asking him to be extremely uncomfortable on his wedding day is not okay.

I understand that this is his ultimatum — get married without my parents present, or don’t get married at all. He’s not budging, and there’s no room for negotiation…

So my question is, how do I tell my parents they aren’t invited to my wedding?

I have been dating my girlfriend for about two years and am starting to think about marriage. The only thing that bothers me is that she is the ex-girlfriend of a friend from college. I still hang out with this guy, and he is cool with things. He dumped her about five years ago. Before we started dating I even asked him for his okay, which he gave.

But I am starting to think it might be strange to marry her, because he would be at the wedding. Is it ever okay to be with a friend’s ex, or should I have thought about this at the beginning?

I share an office with a colleague. We work at a flat organization, but she does have 20 years of experience on me. She’s very kind and sweet, but will talk and hum to herself constantly throughout the day. It’s very difficult to get work done with her soundtrack in the background. This is minor, though, compared to full on temper tantrums she’ll throw in the office.

When she’s frustrated, she will shout profanities, pound on her desk, crumple her papers, and jostle/throw her belongings loudly. It might sound silly, but when it happens suddenly it’s very jarring and can make for a very awkward situation. It’s also happened several times while I’ve been on the phone with clients who are shocked to hear someone shouting profanities in the background. I often try to find a conference room while I’m on external calls, but we work at a large organization and conference room space is scarce.

I’m not sure how to discuss this with her or if I should bring it up at all. Is there a solution beyond buying earplugs and waiting it out?

My family recently attended the high school graduation of one of our children. My eldest son, who is 20, was in the audience with us. Before the ceremony began, while people were milling around and finding their seats, my son pulled out his deodorant and applied it to both armpits. He’s been doing this for years despite our constant admonition that this is totally weird and gross. But he insists it’s not a big deal, and that no one notices or cares. What more can we do?

In the last few years I have had a string of failed relationships. Nothing bad happened, and there were no fights or arguments. The ladies tell me I’m great and an amazing person. Yet they don’t want to be in a relationship, or they cheat or lie to me…

It seems many women come from abusive relationships or just plain toxic ones, and they are scared because I don’t exhibit any of those traits.

I’m a kind, caring, supportive partner. If you had a bad day, I want to hear about it. You had a good day? Let’s talk about that. You want to go out with your friends? Go for it. Have fun and be safe! You want to go out with me? Don’t worry about bringing your pocketbook — I got this.

I’m looking for a partner, someone who eventually may become my queen. These women love that about me but then do everything to distance themselves. It appears nice guys finish last…

I’m ready to give up on relationships altogether; the pain just doesn’t seem worth it. After a while, though, it gets lonely. Please give me some advice.

I am a liberal parent. I raised a daughter who is bi and poly. I always thought that I could accept anything that parenthood might throw at me. I knew that I could embrace my son if he were straight, gay, bi, trans, etc. If there is a controlling consciousness of the universe, it has a nasty sense of humor. Putting it bluntly: My son is sexually attracted to Pokémon. He dropped hints that I didn’t really pick up on. But over the last few years, I have stumbled across evidence of his browsing habits that left me pretty clear about his proclivities. He is now 17, so thoughts that he would “grow out of it” are fading. My biggest fear is that he won’t find someone to pair with. I love my children and want them to be happy. Should I address this with him? Try to discourage an orientation that, to me, seems kind of pathetic?

I’m the mom of a 31-year-old daughter who recently broke up with her longtime boyfriend so she can be with a 17-year-old kid. I probably wouldn’t be upset if she didn’t have sons who are 15, 14, 12 and a daughter, 10, who considered the man she broke up with their dad. Her new love is only two years older than her oldest. I am having a hard time accepting this and so are my grandkids.

I haven’t talked to my daughter about her choice because I know she’s an adult and the bottom line is it isn’t really my business. I do worry about how much confusion this causes the kids.

I don’t know if I can accept this new “man” in her life. To tell you the truth, I want nothing to do with him. I want to continue seeing my grandchildren, though, which will mean I’ll have to deal with this person on some level. How?

My daughter applied for a job at the university where I’m currently employed, in a department supervised by three very good friends of mine… My neighbor also applied for the job. My neighbor has been out of work for over 11 years and lived off his parents. My daughter has a master’s degree, is an alumni of the university, and is currently working. Neither of them have any experience in the field. My neighbor parks cars at an amusement park part-time and my daughter runs a full-time educational program for developmentally disabled adults. My daughter has worked with several friends of mine and all told me she was the best employee they ever had…

They interviewed my neighbor, who said the interview was general and easy, and they hired him within a week. They interviewed my daughter, who said the interview was pointed and in one instance, one of my friends who interviewed her laughed at her when she said she could help him with a particular job he wanted accomplished, and she has not had a call back.

Needless to say, I am angry. I have never involved myself in her employment at this establishment or anywhere else. However, I’m baffled. I see these people every day as we are in the same office, although we do not work in the same division. Is it unprofessional to ask them why they did not hire my hard-working daughter but hired a person who hasn’t worked in years and lives off his elderly mother?

I’m a gay guy, and the guy I’m dating and I are not exclusive. That is fine for me, and us, and I’m not really jealous at the thought of him with other men. But the other day, we were hanging out at his place and chatting, and I kind of got the sense he wasn’t listening—and I looked over, and sure enough, he was on Scruff (gay dating app for people who don’t know). I sort of rolled my eyes but let it go; again, it’s fine, but he doesn’t need to be on the prowl for dick when we’re hanging out, you know?

About an hour later the same day, after lots more phone-looking, he said he needed to run an errand and would be back in a few. I knew what was up, but I let it happen, because I was honestly more amused and incredulous at him than anything. He got back and acted like nothing happened; we even had sex that night. But, like, in retrospect: Isn’t that a little ridiculous? Do I really have to say, out loud, “No setting and executing dick appointments while I’m sitting next to you?” Does this seem like normal behavior? Maybe I should just invite a Grindr guy over the next time he says he’s coming by.

I love my family more than anything, and I am a very modern, liberal dad. My issue is that often my wife will ask that I come along for play dates, birthday parties, etc., and often I am the only dad there. She knows I’m a feminist and plays to that a little, but sometimes I just feel like the odd person out and would rather she just take him.

When I meet people I do not know, they ask me what I do for a living. Most often, when I reply what subject I teach, they say, “Oh, I always hated that in college.”

To which I want to reply, “And I am sure that I would hate what your life’s passion is, too. Please tell me what it is.” But I know that would just make matters even worse, as it would put them on the spot and make them apologize. Maybe that is what they should do, but not how it should come about.

Could you please give me a reply that tells them what they said was not very nice, but at the same time not make me an enemy for life?

I have a wonderful mother-in-law whom I love very much. She frequently stays overnight in my home. I also have two young sons.

My mother-in-law recently mentioned to me that she doesn’t wear underwear to bed and never has, including while staying at my house. I’m troubled by this because she wears nightgowns to bed, and I’m afraid my sons might accidentally see her lady parts. Also, she sleeps on my furniture like this, and I feel it is disrespectful and unladylike.

I don’t know how to say to her that, for the sake of my furniture and my sanity, I need her to wear underwear to bed when she stays at my house. Do I broach this subject, or am I being unreasonable?

My husband and I have been married for seven years. We started out very strong sexually, but over the past few years he has stopped bathing and brushing his teeth regularly. Nothing I say or do seems to compel him to wash. Sometimes he goes more than two weeks without bathing. He’s dirty (he works a manual labor job) and he smells awful. I don’t want to be in the same room as him, and the thought of kissing him or being intimate with him horrifies me. So we aren’t having sex and haven’t been in a while. I tell him that I can’t consider a physical relationship with him because of this, but he doesn’t believe me — he tells me that it’s my problem, that I lack confidence, or I don’t love him, or I’m not attracted to him. He is very angry a lot of the time and blames his attitude on me “withholding sex.” He sees a doctor regularly and is treated for mild anxiety, but nothing seems to get through to him about this. I want sex back in my life, but not with someone who is dirty and/or who is mean to me, and I’m not sure what to do.

I’m a widow with two daughters, “Laurie” and “Diane.” I’m in the process of writing my will and have allocated 35 percent of my estate to each of my daughters, and 15 percent to each of Diane’s children — both under age 5 — to be put into college savings accounts. Laurie is furious that I haven’t given an equal share to “Spot,” her golden retriever puppy, compared with what she calls his “human cousins.” She treats Spot like her child and refers to him as such. She has accused me of unfairness and bias, and likened my actions to homophobia — she has called being a “pet parent” an “orientation.”

I think her obsession with Spot is unhealthy and bordering on ridiculous. I love Spot and make sure I have his favorite treats and toys when they visit, but I really do not feel I owe him more than this, and I resent my grandchildren being compared to a dog. Laurie hasn’t spoken to me in a month and says she won’t until I amend my will. Please help.

My employer is having a mandatory spirit week with a summer camp theme next week. Each day we are to participate in “voluntary” camp activities with our assigned “cabin mates” for the week. The week culminates in a lip sync battle with our cabin mates in front of 100 other employees here at our headquarters and will be recorded for our international staff. Our top three executives are going to be judges. I am very uncomfortable with this.

Normally, I would have no problem simply not participating. However, the entire week is a graded assignment in which our participation and level of enthusiasm is awarded or punished with points for the team. For example, Monday is 80’s fashion day so each cabin mate that isn’t dressed in 80’s style loses a point for the team. The lip sync battle will be graded on us all participating, having matching costumes, and the level of “spirit” displayed in our performance. Some of my cabin mates are really into this camp week while some of us are dreading it. I’d hate for their reputations to be damaged by my lack of participation. Some of the activities are manageable but pretending to sing while dancing in front of people is not.

How do I approach this while protecting my colleagues?

I recently hosted an old college friend for lunch at my house, along with her husband and young daughter, “Lillie.”

I’ve got a medium-sized dog that gets nervous around new people, so for safety’s sake I locked the dog in her kennel and kept her in a back room.

My friend asked several times if she could take her daughter to the back to “see the puppy,” but I said no because the dog would stay calmer if she was left alone.

Well, while I was busy cooking lunch, my friend apparently snuck Lillie to the back room to see the dog.

Next thing I know, Lillie is screaming/crying, and my friend is yelling at me.

Apparently the dog nipped at Lillie and scared her (there was no physical contact). Now, my friend is angry with me for “allowing” my dog to scare her child. She is threatening to report me to animal control.

I think she’s insane.

My dog was locked away in her kennel. I stated very clearly to leave the dog alone, and she ignored me.

My friend says she wants an apology and for me to get rid of the dog, or she won’t be visiting anymore. Who is right here?

The mother of a church friend has taken to lifting me up off the ground every time she talks to me at church. I’m 24.

I let her once, because I thought it was going to be a friendly, one-time greeting. Unfortunately, that sent her the wrong message.

The mom, I’ll admit, is only being friendly, but she also calls me “little girl” and comments on how I need to eat more and how I have a little stomach. We talk about little else. Frankly, if this is how most of our future conversations are going to be, I would prefer we just cordially smile and walk on…

I don’t know if I should attend another church, hide in the bathroom, fake an injury and refuse to stand up when I see her, or what. I feel that the longer this goes on, the more awkward it will be to confront her. I’m also afraid she will try to convince me that she’s just being friendly, so I shouldn’t mind these things…

It’s becoming unbearable to talk to her, and I’m at a loss of what to do. Is this a battle worth fighting, and if so, what should my strategies be?