Suicide prevention

• Listen without judging. It's likely they're trying to deal with intense feelings ranging from anger, regret, sadness, fear and guilt. While it may be hard to understand, it's important to accept what they are saying.
  
  
• You don't need to ask probing questions about what has happened, or why. They'll tell you when and if they're ready. If it's not something that you're comfortable discussing, be honest with them about it.
  
  
• Don't avoid them because you feel uncomfortable - this can reinforce the sense of stigma. Get some ideas from counselling service about how you can communicate.
  
  
• Remember it's not just what you say, but how you say it. People notice your body language.
  
  
• If you don't know how to respond to something, be honest and say so.
  
  
• Recognise that suicide is a complex coping response to what feels like an intolerable situation.
  
  
• Letting them know you care is a good start, and that you're there if they need you: "I'm so glad you're OK. You don't have to say anything, but I'm here when you are ready to talk and I want to support you to get through this".
  
  
• Be aware of cultural differences. This can affect how people respond to suicide, as well as how they feel about sharing information and seeking help.

• Give them space and time without isolating them - invite them to lunch or coffee as you normally would, but don't push things if they aren't up for it yet.
  
  
• Check in regularly and ask how they're going. Listen to the response and try to understand without wanting to 'fix' things.
  
  
• Consider cultural difference. Differences in cultural background can affect how people respond to suicide as well as how they feel about sharing information and seeking help.
  
  
• Treat them the same as you normally would - be yourself around them.
  
  
• Avoid imposing lime limits on the grieving process. Grief is a very personal process and different between individuals, so check your expectations.

• Be surprised at the intensity of the person's feelings. They may be overwhelmed by intense feelings of grief, often when they least expect it and including at work.
  
  
• Overwhelm them with attention when they first come back - just saying 'welcome back' is enough.
  
  
• Ask questions - if your colleague want to talk about it with you, they will.

It's ok to feel awkward or uncomfortable talking about suicide, but try not to let this stop you showing support and offering assistance. Be truthful, honest and aware of your limitations: acknowledge if you don't understand or know how to react to what they're going through.

Some of the common language used to talk about suicide can be unhelpful. Here are some tips on how to approach the conversation:

• Try not to say 'committed' suicide - this language harks back to time when suicide was a crime and a mortal sin. Some bereaved people find it distressing and stigmatising. 'Died by suicide', 'suicided', or 'took their life' are more neutral terms.
  
  
• Don't use clichés or platitudes to try and comfort the person. Statements like "you're so strong", "time will heal", "he's at peace now", "you have other children", "you'll get married again" or "I know how you feel", while well-intentioned, rarely help. They can leave the bereaved person feeling misunderstood and more isolated.
  
  
• Avoid judgements about the person who died, such as saying they were selfish, cowardly or weak, or even brave or strong. People need to come to their own understanding about what has happened.
  
  
• Avoid simplistic explanations for the suicide. Suicide is very complex and there are usually many contributing factors.